Long time no post. Uh, stuff happened and most of us are lazy. :x

Have a compilation of photos of food from May that Star has eaten! In order, mongolian beef, my mom’s baked beans, chips & salsa and the cozumel (a giant burrito smeared in chili and cheese, filled with lettuce, beef, cheese and chicken).

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Broccoli cheese soup! Mmmm. 

-gaive

Broccoli cheese soup! Mmmm.

-gaive

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Taco Tuesday!

Taco Tuesday!

Today I went to the Food & Wine Festival at Walt Disney World’s EPCOT center. Unfortunately, I am a broke ass so I really couldn’t partake in all of the food that I wanted to taste. Not only am I a broke ass, but I’m also a cheap ass - I refuse to pay $5 for a sample of something tiny or $6 for a funnel cake. Sorry, Disney.

I forgot to take a picture of the pork kakuni that I did unbend enough to buy (because it was cheap). It was delicious. I would eat that all the time. Shove that right in my mouth.

Most of this food is from the at the Les Chefs de France restaurant in France at EPCOT. We went there for a specific reason (which is also why I was a cheap ass with the Food & Wine Festival) and the food was well worth it… and my friend’s discount made it affordable. If you want to go, be forewarned that it is the priciest general restaurant at EPCOT. The food is amazing, but you pay for it. At least the portions were generous.

I had french onion soup and braised short ribs with mushrooms and pearl onions. It was to die for.

Once outside, I splurged again on another Food & Wine selection of creme brulee au chocolat. I would eat like fifty of those. Just… keep feeding them to me until I die. So delicious. <3

The candy sushi is for Kitty, because I know she loves tiny candy. <3

And the perfect moment in our meal at Les Chefs de France:

http://s14.photobucket.com/albums/a325/StarKyoujo/?action=view&current=remy.mp4

-your rat-loving and very tired andthatswhathappened.tumblr.com

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As you can see, we had nothing but the finest delicacy: A can of hash and some nested eggs!

First, i fried up the hash. Then, i fried up the eggs inside the bread. Then i ate the motherfucker. A meal so delicious, Zeus himself came down from Olympus and asked me for the recipe, to which i smacked him in the face and sent him packing. If he wants this food, he can damn well hire me to cook it for him!

Brought to you by your friendly neighborhood chainsaw rapist, Gaive

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Today&#8217;s picture is not for human consumption. Or, well, I suppose that you could consume these if you wanted to.
I just wanted to showcase some of the treats that I got for the dog yesterday. Remember when all you could give your dog were Milkbones and Snausages? Yeah, not anymore. There are some crazy gourmet doggie treats out there that I didn&#8217;t even know existed until a few years ago.
And let me tell you, internet, some of these smell delicious. I have never really been tempted to put dog (or cat) food into my mouth but these are tempting. They smell like real cookies. There is always a little tiny voice that says &#8216;go ahead and try it&#8217; whenever I open the bag &#8212; especially loud on that damn circle cookie with the frosting in the middle. Frosting! For dogs! I don&#8217;t even get real cookies that often anymore! Look at that shit; it looks like a biscotti, a teddy graham and a cheerio. That waffle thing is berry flavored, the one with the stamped cat and dog is pumpkin spice.
Is it bad that I am kind of jealous of my own dog?
Your doggedly faithful reporter is andthatswhathappened.tumblr.com

Today’s picture is not for human consumption. Or, well, I suppose that you could consume these if you wanted to.

I just wanted to showcase some of the treats that I got for the dog yesterday. Remember when all you could give your dog were Milkbones and Snausages? Yeah, not anymore. There are some crazy gourmet doggie treats out there that I didn’t even know existed until a few years ago.

And let me tell you, internet, some of these smell delicious. I have never really been tempted to put dog (or cat) food into my mouth but these are tempting. They smell like real cookies. There is always a little tiny voice that says ‘go ahead and try it’ whenever I open the bag — especially loud on that damn circle cookie with the frosting in the middle. Frosting! For dogs! I don’t even get real cookies that often anymore! Look at that shit; it looks like a biscotti, a teddy graham and a cheerio. That waffle thing is berry flavored, the one with the stamped cat and dog is pumpkin spice.

Is it bad that I am kind of jealous of my own dog?

Your doggedly faithful reporter is andthatswhathappened.tumblr.com

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Breakfast this morning: cinnamon rolls.

I took this recipe, substituted whole wheat flour, halved the amount of butter, and since I keep forgetting to buy white granulated sugar, substituted a little less truvia. Packets! I HAD TO OPEN LIKE 2305878236 TINY PACKETS YALL.

The verdict? I like them. They are a little bit denser than the ones my mom makes, more like a bran muffin on crack. Jay thought they tasted like wheat bread so they weren’t his favorite.

I made two batches, an 8x8 pan and a small loaf pan with three rolls that wouldn’t fit in the big one. The smaller pan turned out dry but still tasty. In the big pan, I put a small tiny piece of butter on top of each roll and sprinkled them with the excess brown sugar but I think a nice frosting glaze like the recipe calls for would have made them less dry.

Grade: B-

(this post brought to you by the whole wheat kitsonpaws)

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Tonight&#8217;s dining pleasure was standard fare cookie cutter Chinese food.
I could probably eat Chinese food almost every day, even this low-grade substandard stuff. Mmm, taste that MSG! Tonight&#8217;s repertoire was roast pork with broccoli, an egg roll, chicken teriyaki skewers and that li&#8217;l adorable &#8220;some day I might be a BIG rice&#8221; thing of rice. I am very mad at them because they included no soy sauce and I am out of it. Isn&#8217;t it required by law that they throw some in there?
Please ignore my dirty keyboard/desk/entire room.
Tonight&#8217;s fortune cookies: &#8220;Wisdom is knowing what to do next, skill is knowing how to do it, and virtue is doing it.&#8221; &#8230;in bed. And &#8220;You should be able to undertake and complete anything.&#8221; &#8230;in bed. Thanks, statement/order cookies. I feel very enlightened.
Your high-life living sarcasm machine is andthatswhathappened.tumblr.com

Tonight’s dining pleasure was standard fare cookie cutter Chinese food.

I could probably eat Chinese food almost every day, even this low-grade substandard stuff. Mmm, taste that MSG! Tonight’s repertoire was roast pork with broccoli, an egg roll, chicken teriyaki skewers and that li’l adorable “some day I might be a BIG rice” thing of rice. I am very mad at them because they included no soy sauce and I am out of it. Isn’t it required by law that they throw some in there?

Please ignore my dirty keyboard/desk/entire room.

Tonight’s fortune cookies: “Wisdom is knowing what to do next, skill is knowing how to do it, and virtue is doing it.” …in bed. And “You should be able to undertake and complete anything.” …in bed. Thanks, statement/order cookies. I feel very enlightened.

Your high-life living sarcasm machine is andthatswhathappened.tumblr.com

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Well okay not the entire wheel. This is damage done over a few days.

I mean, I don’t think I’m some sort of cheese expert. I am a cheese nerd (a curd? AHAHAHA I SLAY ME OH WAIT). I like reading books on cheese because I like cooking, and I like making things from the barest amount of ingredients.

You know what else I found out while I studied amateur cheesery? Cheddar isn’t ORANGE. That’s right. The real good stuff is a creamy delicious off-white color. I love it. They add the color in later. Ew, oranging.

And for fledgling cheese enthusiasts (chusiasts? No?…aw, man), Culture Magazine is a good reference on cheese, and sometimes it also has other stuff like beer. BEER. You can eat BEER with CHEESE.

Also for your cheeseviewing enjoyment (and so this post wouldn’t be just one Sad Gouda) last September I made mozzarella cheese, as close as I could. First with a giant pot of milk! And I got to track down a thermometer. Come to find out, the temperature range on meat and candy thermometers isn’t low enough for cheesemaking. Far after the fact, we sprung for a $20 digital thermometer and have yet to make cheese ever again ;_; SAD DAY.

The finished product was like a dense, dry ricotta cheese :d We put it on homemade pizza and it was like OH GLORY.

(lovingly handcrafted for your enjoyment by kitsonpaws)

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Minnesota State Fair at it’s finest

HA I WIN.

And for winning, I give you the deliciousness of the state fair of Minnesota!

Deep fried Milky Way and Reese’s Peanutbutter Cups. There was also Snickers and Oreos and Three Musketeeers. I want to say there were others but lol I dunno ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

This is surely the most disgusting looking thing you might see. It looks like a lard ball. And then you bite into it and it’s delicious cheese burger. I tell people you should share it; I could eat two of these alone.

Everybody knows cheese curds, or if they don’t they should. We had ours with ketchup, the great Minnesotan spice, to give it a little bit more flavor.

By this point I was sick from eating so much and walking so much in the heat. I would have eaten the fuck out of this otherwise. I also wanted deep fried bacon but this was also the point where I was like OH GOD WANT TO GO HOME TO AIR CONDITION.

But there you have it. The first post of deliciousness.

This is your friendly neighborhood youdontfuckinknow

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